As the new, temporary CF NFL Picks Commissioner, I have three executive orders to announce: 1) Our dear former Chairperson, I mean Chairman, TDV will remain our distinguished Chairman in Perpetuity despite his pro choice stance and increasingly moderate political views. I actually agree with him on all things except killing babies. 2) Heinz Field will forever be known as Heinz Field, rather than that new woke gay name. 3) Von Duck has been found. He landed a job here in Ohio serving as Deshaun Watson’s personal masseuse. He told Inside that the pay and job stinks but the perks are phenomenal.
